A core component of the mission behind the Femme Project is cultivating frank and open discussions about sex and sexuality. And now seems like a perfect time to talk about cannabis and orgasms.
In November, the state of Maryland and Missouri passed landmark measures legalizing recreational cannabis, joining 19 other states and the District of Columbia. Where once the use of marijuana was met with disdain, discrimination, and more harshly, criminal charges, medical use of cannabis has quickly eroded the stigma associated with the drug, paving the way for more research and information regarding its benefits.
I was in high school when I took my first puff of marijuana. Someone down the line passed a joint to me and I inhaled. Away from home during my first year of college, smoking weed became a more common pastime, a way to spend the bitterly cold nights among the happy company of friends. On rare occasions, I might have sex when I was high. During these early experiences with marijuana, I never considered how cannabis might impact my pleasure. I didn’t feel the desire to have sex but I was happily amenable to indulge my partner in their desire to do so.
Earlier this year, the New York Times did a piece on better sex with cannabis — although I only stumbled across it recently. It got me thinking again about my own experience with pleasure and how I “discovered” that cannabis can lead to better sex and more interesting, pleasurable, and powerful orgasms.
Let me begin with the disclaimer that cannabis isn’t for everyone and that is okay. I am not a doctor or medical professional and I don’t propose using cannabis to treat medical conditions (physical, emotional, or sexual) without consulting a medical provider first. The thoughts and experiences shared here are my own. For those of you who are curious, take the time to do the research, to be informed, and to be safe. And as always, consent is imperative with those who partake.
the history
A few years back, a friend shared some of her personal marijuana flower with me. It had been a long time since I had tried it and I planned to make an evening of it with my partner, smoking and getting high. About mid-way through the smoke session, my partner suggested that I try masturbating. I couldn’t recall a time that I had masturbated while being high and I felt fairly adamant that it wouldn’t result in much. But, in an effort to be open and try new things, I did. I fetched my go-to vibrator and oriented myself to the experiment of having an orgasm while high. Well, the orgasm that took me was pretty mystical. The visuals and sensations that flooded my brain were vibrant and intense.
But I wasn’t a fan of smoking. The equipment, the smell, the physical harshness of the smoke, and the lack of easy access to the product made my cannabis and orgasm experiment a heavy lift. I didn’t find many opportunities or feel much desire to continue the exploration. When I moved to California, lawmakers were in the process of transitioning from legal medical use of marijuana to legal recreational use. Recreational cannabis was a game changer for me. A variety of forms of cannabis were easy to access and accompanied by informed resources and practitioners. I landed on a gummy form of edibles that didn’t come with the downsides of smoking. Additionally, I knew exactly the dosage I was taking, controlling the flow of my high in a way that smoking did not do for me. While it took me a few tries to get the dosing right — including one night spent on the floor of the bathroom with my arms wrapped around the toilet, feeling dizzy and nauseous — I decided to resurrect the experiment with cannabis and orgasms. This time, the results were much improved with extended, pleasurable orgasms that far exceeded the sensations of regular, sober ones.
the experiment
Putting in the time with cannabis and my orgasms gave me a renewed interest in my own pleasure and the desire to explore possibilities. I experimented with different strains of cannabis — sativa, indica, and other hybrids — all available in gummy form. By taking a more intentional and perhaps scientific approach to using cannabis and its various strains, could the quality, sensations, and enjoyment of sex and orgasm be improved? Just for fun, my partner (who identifies as male and has a penis) decided to join and see what it was like. Here is what we found out:
The Buildup
One of the considerations of using edibles is that the high builds over time. The lead time provides the opportunity for you to set the mood, compose your mindset, and open the space for pleasure. The high feeling is not immediate, so paying attention to your body and the onset of sensations is key. You want to give the edible enough time to take effect and enhance your feelings of pleasure, but not too much time where, conversely, the effects may feel too intoxicating, distracting, or overwhelming. After some trial and error, my partner and I found the ideal timing to be somewhere between 45 minutes to an hour after consuming the edible. The buildup is a great time to begin foreplay — touching, reading erotica, stimulating visuals, you pick your poison — the 45 minutes to an hour is the opportunity to cultivate titillating thoughts,. when you are starting to feel the effects of cannabis, but not necessarily in the completely high phase. I have discovered that too far into the high I lose focus and reaching climax becomes more challenging.
Sativa
When I first started experimenting, the sativa strains produced the best overall orgasm for me. The sativa orgasm happened entirely in my head. At the point of climax, my brain felt engaged and ignited. Visual sensations dance and combust and the experience of the orgasm can best be compared to that of a rollercoaster ride: soaring through ups and downs that seem to last forever, mounting to a peak that rushes forward toward satisfaction. My partner described his orgasm as analogous to the river scene from the Lord of the Rings movie when the water rushes down the river in front of Rivendell, a cascading series of stallions. The orgasms felt longer, more intense, and entirely amazing. I found with sativa, that it was easier to feel more aroused and keep the orgasm feeling coming. At times, multiple orgasms were achieved with very little effort on my part. Something that had been a challenge for me with all of my sexual experiences and endeavors.
Indica
The indica strain proved to be a completely different feeling and experience. The point of pleasure and orgasm felt localized in the genital areas for both me and my partner. The intensity was still comparable to sativa and far exceeded the sensations of normal, sober orgasms. Indica orgasms also had the effect of spreading delightful sensations throughout my body. My partner reported that his orgasm was almost entirely experienced in his penis with a very intense feeling. Over time, I have found having sex and orgasms while using the indica strain are more gratifying. The reported effects of indica being more relaxing and calming may play a part in my personal preference. The mood and mindset is more conducive to self pleasure and enjoyable sexual interactions.
Final Thoughts
The use of cannabis for sexual enhancement and enjoyment is well founded in my opinion. As with anything, proceed with patience and manage your expectations. Trial and error will inform your next best experiences. If you are curious and haven’t tried it, I highly recommend it. Cannabis can provide you with an entirely new perspective of what pleasure can be and open your mind and body to heightened sensations. I am convinced (and so is my partner), that it can enhance non-cannabis orgasms as well. The effects of cannabis can linger making your enjoyment and pleasure easier to come by. But don’t take my word for it. Experiment for yourself. I think you will be glad you did!
