Is it possible to be feminist and sex-positive?
That is a question that continues to pop up on my radar and in my daily life. From the art that I create, the articles that I read, and even the podcasts that I listen to, feminism and sex intertwine in a myriad of different ways, and lately, appear to be at odds with each other.
In a post #MeToo era, issues surrounding consent and power dynamics loom over passé notions of casual sex and the sex-positivity movement in general. Fewer Gen Z folks are having sex. In her new book “The Right to Sex,” Philosopher Amia Srinivasan’s essays provide surprising insight into her students’ perspectives that are starkly anti-porn and align more closely with the views expressed by second wave feminists of the 70s and 80s. This sentiment aligns with many young women rejecting a more liberal, sex-positive feminism — leading journalist Michell Goldberg to conclude that sex-positive feminism is falling out of favor.
It is not surprising that many young people today struggle with the idea of being sex-positive when most of that dialog emphasizes extreme examples or vapid attitudes about engaging with sex. The label surrounding sex-positivity has become so narrow and is dominated by conversations about pornography or sex work that the result has had the adverse effect. The sanitization — by that I mean the removal of sex & sexuality — of family friendly content across social media and almost every form of entertainment we are exposed to has given young people a binary perspective of what sex can be in their lives. This, in my opinion, is a false choice. Sex is as nuanced and complicated as love, and it requires thoughtful discussion, far better education, and equal representation in the content we consume in our daily lives. The full spectrum of sex and sexuality, is getting lost in the conversation because it doesn’t exist there any longer. We are teaching our children less, and social media is doing its level best to remove sex from our lives entirely so they can bombard us with product marketing.
What’s really going on? Is sex-positive feminism a fallacy? Can the two coexist?
discovering feminism & sexuality
The perspectives expressed by the generation of women, feminists, and allies profiled in the examples above are ones that I can relate to in my own experience. Coming of age in the 90s and early 2000s, many of my early sexual desires and proclivities were influenced by arguably male and patriarchal references. In much the same way that mainstream porn provides a script for young people today, the sexually charged imagery and messages infused in the popular culture of those past decades provided a blueprint for how I viewed sex and engaged with it. Women’s sexuality was commercialized and commodified. Supermodels ruled the runway by day and partied by night. MTV provided a vehicle for record labels to curate cookie cutter pop stars to sell music by peddling sex. Magazines and billboards further pushed the sexually liberated narrative with impossibly thin bodies, scenes of sexual innuendo, and advice on how to please your man in bed. I felt the pressure to embody these sexual ideals, to engage in hookup culture without really understanding it, and to feel empowered by doing so. The reality was I felt incredibly insecure, at times exploited, and more disempowered by the sexual encounters of my early adulthood.
It wasn’t until I began my work with the Femme Project that the ideas of feminism, sex and sexuality, and equality began to converge. In the years prior to the creation of the Femme Project, I never really thought of myself as a feminist. As my work with the Femme Project progressed, dots began to connect. Past experiences in my personal and professional life with episodes of gender inequality, the male gaze, sexual harassment, and assault, combined with disproportionate power dynamics coalesced to the forefront. The rise of Instagram, Facebook, and other social media outlets exacerbated these seemingly innocuous interactions. At the same time, my sexual journey was evolving. Upon entering my 30s, I wanted to feel empowered and respected in the bedroom as well as the boardroom. I began to see that sex and sexuality were entangled with equality. If women could empower themselves to gain autonomy over their sexuality, gender equality would follow.
I found some of my most interesting and satisfying projects ones that explored the relationship between equality and sexuality. An early project, Sexting IMGs delved into the world of sexting and social media, dancing the delicate balance between empowerment and objectification. The Thigh High Thursday Challenge evolved into a seven year project and hundreds of photographs dissecting the contrasts between the male and female gaze and an empowerment of self image. Other projects and explorations followed, maturing with #RespectHerSex, a campaign and a movement to empower women to embrace their sex and sexuality free from shame. The projects under the #ResectHerSex umbrella were decades in the making and reflect the belief that a woman’s sexuality and equality go hand in hand. Through the process of creating the art, writing, and concepts behind these projects, I began to understand these binding connections. My identity as a woman in my body felt more comfortable. My sexual explorations felt more satisfying. My advocacy for equal rights felt more passionate. Today I think of myself as fiercely feminist, a culmination of my experiences, missteps, and awareness of my life navigating who I am as a woman and my sexuality.
From the projects Thigh High Thursday Challenge (L) and Sexting IMGs (R)
thinking differently about feminism & sex-positivity
I think we all need to think hard about what sex-positive means. Being sex-positive needs to be something different than what we now see and hear. It should emphasize equal access to sexual education that includes the topic of sexual pleasure and be focused on providing women with a safe space to explore their bodies and their sexuality on their terms. Free from pressure to say yes, and, most importantly, free from shame when we do say yes. And it also needs to include the freedom for women to also choose NOT to explore their bodies and their sexuality, but to respect the choices of others who do. I am a firm believer that sex-positivity should be more inclusive to reflect the many forms of sexual expression — like sex-work, pornography, art and erotica, procreation, as well as monogamous or non-monogamous relationships.
To be feminist and sex-positive is something that is deeply personal to me. While the concepts exist as opposite sides of a coin, the two counterparts form a single currency. Feminism is defined as the advocacy of women's rights on the basis of the equality of the sexes — more specifically, a range of social movements and ideologies that aim to define and establish the political, economic, personal, and social equality of the sexes. And while these ideologies might initially appear to exist independently from our sexual identity, that is a fallacy. Sex-positive feminism is crucial to achieving the goal of true gender equality. It is a true egalitarian act to welcome healthy, positive, and empowered expression of one’s sexuality into the discourse surrounding feminist thought, theory, and ideals.
One of my greatest artistic inspirations, Georgia O’Keeffe, connected with me at a young age with her passionate and energetic floral paintings. I would spend hours in the local library flipping through picture books devoted to the layered breadth of her work. With the arrival of second-wave feminism in the 1970s, many feminists began to champion O’Keeffe’s works as symbols of sexual liberation and female empowerment. It surprised me to learn that O’Keeffe herself rejected the notion that her flowers were anything feminine or inherently sexual. A product of a different era, she struggled to be taken seriously as a painter, equal to her male peers, and not just a “woman painter.” For me, her paintings were immersive, sensual, and bold … perhaps embracing both feminist ideology and sex-positive thinking before it’s time.
To embrace a sex-positive perspective is to advance the rights of all women. If there is one thing that I have learned in my time as an artist, a writer, and a woman is that we are many things and should never be defined by any one thing. We can be feminist and sex-positive.
